Monday, August 18, 2014

Life Happens

I really don't know where to begin. I have been trying to wrap my head around my crazy life and find a way to put in words the thoughts in my head, but it tends to sound like I'm complaining. I really don't want to complain, but today, take it as you will, I need to vent.

Last spring, we pulled Ethan out of classic public school and enrolled him in an alternative learning program or public school offers. Basically, he is now homeschooled, but he has a teacher he meets with once a week to talk about what he's learned and keep him on track. I love this program, but adjusting to homeschooling really took a while. In fact, it felt like we had only just figured it out and the school year was over. It was summer time. In the blink of an eye summer ending and school, for us, starts in about 2 weeks. I have been feeling anxiety and stress realizing we have had no contact from the school and I really have no idea what I'm in for this year with his homeschooling.

Ethan is a special kid. He is entering 2nd grade but he is highly advanced in many subjects. Last year we found a speicalist that helped us treat Ethan's ADHD issues so that he could simply finish one thought before he lost track of it. He has come a long way, despite the rollercoaster we've been on finding the right treatment. He has also been diagnosed as Hyperlexic, which basically is the advanced ability to read at a very early age, but comprehension is a bit behind. Ethan was 3 years old when he started reading, but he can struggle grasping the point of what he is reading. Hyperlexia is generaly associated with people who have austisum. We have not recieved a diagnosis of autisum but strongly suspect Ethan is on the spectrum, although high funtioning.

We have also been informed that Ethan is considered at Twice Exceptional or 2e child. A 2e child is intellectually gifted but has some form of disability. The disability could be anything from dyslexia, a type of processing disorder, Aspergers or even depression and/or anxiety. Ethan prefers clam and quiet, while his brother, Caleb, prefers noise and action. He also presesnts incations taht he is a 2e child. These two conflicing personalities can be challenging. So back to Ethan being homeschooled; we pulled him out of school due to his anxiety and sensory overload issues. As I said, he has made much progress this summer, but we still have a long road to walk together and figure things out.

Our busy summer has not made it easy for him. We had a friend move in with us temporarily, and although we love her dearly, it still changes the feel of home with another body there. Having another perosn added to the noise level and activiy of the house, which sometimes was hard for Ethan to deal with. In July we attended an International Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses in Seattle, WA. This was an amazing expericne, however, completely overwhleming for Ethan. Coming back from a weekend with over 30,000 people, I was babysitting another 4 year old for the next week.

During that same weekend, my step-dad had a major psychotic break. He suffers from Schitzo-Affective disorder which is a combination of schitzophrenia and bi-polar disorder; the bi-polar highs and lows being angry to manic depression, no happy highs. He was hospitalized for treatment for one week and is now back home. I have no idea how my mother can get thru such things. She now a caretaker and has a whole new road to walk and life to learn. Things will not go back to the way they were, but they are finding their way adn are able to laugh togheter and that is amazing. While the initial crisis is over, I still try to talk to them every few days to keep tabs. I love them dearly, but it does add to my plate.

In the later portion of July, my father-in-law decided he was tired of feeling ill so often and made the journey to the Hoxsey Clinic in Mexico to see if they could find answers to what was plauging him when no doctors, local to him, could. Turns out they could. He has been diagnosed with Differentiated Kerotianized Squamous Cell Carcenoma. A very rare and agressive form of skin cancer between the prostate and bladder. We are all still tyring to get our heads around this. How do you prepare your children for potential loss for the first time in their lives? The whole thing doesn't even seem real. I keep expecting to find it was a mistake and he will be ok. We have been having lots of small moments in coming to terms with the probable outcome, while trying to maintain hope.

In August our lovely dear moved out into her new home and the same day we had a family cousin come to stay for two weeks. He currently lives in Korea, although he is from the States originally. We adore him, the children adore him and he was an amazing house guest. Cleaned up after himself, helped with the kids and even took on a back burner yard project of building a chicken coop for us. It was a great visit.

During this visit, slightly before and off and on since, my hubs has been dealing with Kidney Stones and a bad back issue. This is almost a minor thing in our house because it has become an constant on again off again issue, but again, it is one more thing on our plate.

After he left, we had our house back to ourselves and our activities have slowed down. I find myself almost feeling "empty nest" syndrome because of the change. It is so strange, but we are adapting. And now we come full circle to school starting back up and trying to figure out just what to do with Ethan as he starts Second Grade and what to do with Caleb who will be in Pre-K.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Things boys say...

The boys are playing in a plastic pool on the deck and say some pretty silly things. Today's fun is were overheard..
1. Look a floater! (I of course run over and they have submerged a t-shirt which is floating.)
2. I'm going to do a big fart so I can watch the bubble.
Yes, boys will be boys and they will always amuse me!

Back in the Saddle


It has been ages since I've sat down and put my thoughts to written form. Like three years! I'm trying to get back to it; "back in the saddle again". Life has been crazy, but then who ever feels like their life isn't?

My sweet Caleb is half-way to 5 and full of attitude, tempers and growing pains...I still can't figure out what the "terrible twos" are...We've had terrible 3's and 4's. That being said, he is happy and healthy; not much more to ask for there.

Our older son Ethan has had his share of issues for the past year or two. He has been diagnosed as ADHD and Hyperlexic. He also has undiagnosed sensory processing issues (it may or may not be sensory processing disorder also known as SPD) and he may or may not be high functioning autistic or "on the spectrum".

 Learning about all his needs has been a learning experience to say the least. He was bullied in school and seemed so sad. We finally decided it was time to homeschool when he spent every morning for a week curled up in the fetal position refusing to acknowledge us when it was time to get ready for school. Sure sign something was wrong. So we joined an alternative learning program offered by his public school. We really have a wonderful public school. The teachers, principal, counselors and additional staff were wall extremely willing to help in any way, but he just needed to be home. So the past few months of school flew by. I ran around feeling like a chicken with my head cut off, but portraying as much clam and confidence as I could.

We started weekly therapy sessions with a wonderful woman who has helped me come to terms with what we are facing, that it IS ok and that we WILL get a pretty typical life despite all this; and that is just from watching her work with Ethan! Now he likes to go in alone like a 'big boy' but I don't mind. It makes him less self-conscious about his thoughts, feelings and that is what he needs.

One thing that really helped me adjust my mental standpoint was to tell myself that Ethan has a learning disability despite all his brilliance in so many areas. In my mind, he is disabled and that is ok. I don't treat him different, but it helps me remain calm when things go wrong and I want to scream. I do catch myself wishing things were different, comparing him to other kids, but I love my special, deeply sensitive and loving little guy. I wouldn't change a thing. All in all, I feel like I'm constantly learning and things are constantly getting easier, at least until the next setback.